Clarifying and communicating goals of care with your healthcare providers and loved ones may help to alleviate distress and focus on quality of life.
Sometimes cancer continues to grow aggressively despite the best medicine and care available. When you are told that a cure is no longer the goal of treatment, you may experience a range of emotions. You, and your loved ones, may feel overwhelmed and will deal with this news in different ways. Clarifying and communicating goals of care with your healthcare providers and loved ones may help to alleviate distress and focus on quality of life.
Based on your medical history, your doctor may give you an estimate for how long you may live. However, no one can predict this exactly. Some people live much longer than expected, and others may not.
An advanced care plan (ACP) will assist in guiding your substitute decision maker or the person to whom you have given power of attorney if you are no longer capable of making your own decisions. You will create your ACP through conversations with your healthcare team and your loved ones, and by reflecting on your own values and beliefs. Take this opportunity to discuss your preferences and fears. For example, many people with cancer have fears about living their last days in pain or feeling short of breath. An honest discussion will help alleviate these fears.
It is advisable at this time to make decisions regarding power of attorney, a will, and organ, tissue, or body donation. You may also choose to pre-plan or speak to your family about your wishes for a funeral or memorial service.
You can learn more from Advance Care Planning Canada.
Hospices are sometimes referred to as palliative care units, depending on the hospital. Hospice Care can provide comfort care measures at the end of life. It affirms the value of life and allows the natural process of death to unfold. The goal is not to cure the disease but to treat the individual, ensuring their last days are spent with dignity and comfort.
You can receive this care at home, at a clinic or hospital, or in a hospice. You may feel most comfortable at home and want to be there as long as possible; or you may want to take advantage of the extra medical support and care available for you and your loved ones at a hospice. It is important to remember (and let your loved ones know) that choosing to stay at a hospice does not mean that you do not want to spend time at home or that your family is failing to take care of you. Conversations with your loves ones and your healthcare team can help you determine which type of care you would like and when.
MAID is a legal procedure in Canada that allows eligible individuals to receive help from a medical professional to end their life. The Federal Criminal Code of Canada strictly regulates this practice, ensuring it occurs under specific circumstances and adheres to clear guidelines. Regardless of where you live in Canada, you can ask for medical assistance in dying if you meet the criteria. If you are considering MAID, speak with your healthcare provider, they will guide you and your loves ones based on your situation.
For more information, visit Health Canada.
Grief is a common experience when receiving a cancer diagnosis regardless of prognosis. There are many changes and losses, and it is common to feel a range of emotions at different times, such as sadness, anger, guilt, confusion, and denial. It is important not to ignore these feelings and isolate yourself. Talking to your family, a close friend, or a mental health professional can help you process the complicated and painful emotions that you may have. This will take time, but by sharing your grief may help yourself and those around you.
More information can be found at mygrief.ca.
Many people of all ages avoid talking about their illness or about dying, simply out of love and a need to protect children from harm. Children, however, do better and are more resilient when others explain to them the nature of the disease, and assure them that they will not be abandoned. If your cancer is no longer responding to treatment, telling children about it will help them adjust and prepare for the future. Regular family discussions about what is happening in each of your lives can be a natural opportunity to keep children informed. Use gentle, direct, age- and stage-appropriate language to explain the changes. With young children, you can use phrases such as “mommy is getting sicker, mommy is getting very sick as things change, and later mommy is very, very sick and will not get better”. These phrases convey a message of increased illness and help move the children along in their understanding of the progression.
Additional information can be found at kidsgrief.ca.
During this time, there are many things you and the children close to you can do together to recall, reflect on, and create new memories. The suggestions below can be an investment in children’s futures and can make an enormous difference to their well-being and adjustment after you are gone.
